Making Decisions from a Place of Power:
From my college geography class, I remember studying immigration patterns and the reasons why people make such potentially life-altering moves.
There are two general reasons: Most people are either pushed away from their homelands; by political unrest, drought/famine, lack of good vegan restaurants, etc. Or they are pulled towards different geographic digs in search of greater opportunities; better economic conditions, better weather, better pizza, etc.
I later realized that the same principle applies to individual decision making.
When you want make a change, be it a new job, relationship, or move to a new city, etc., are you being pushed into it by undesirable circumstances, or are you pulling yourself towards more fulfilling circumstances?
The former is from a place of weakness and defensiveness. The latter is from a place of strength and assertiveness.
When you act from defensiveness, you trigger the primal part of the brain, the amygdala, which is responsible for fight, flight, or freeze responses. It shuts down the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that enhances creativity and decision making.
From a place of weakness, your abilities to accurately assess the situation and take appropriate actions is diminished.
From a place of strength, and an active prefrontal cortex, you feel more secure and are willing to take risks and to be vulnerable.
That is where progress and growth happens.
Your circumstances do not dictate your emotions or actions. A house cannot make you feel anything. Another person cannot hurt your feelings. Only your thoughts about those circumstances can do that. And, (here’s the good news) you can change your thoughts.
If you find yourself in a situation that you want to change, for whatever reason, it is within your power to make that change.
But if you jump ship from a place of discomfort or unease, chasing a better situation over there, where the grass is greener, you are only running away from your current situation which you are creating by your own thoughts.
If you take the time to fully understand your current circumstances and accept them for what they actually are—to make peace with them—then you will be in a better mindset to decide how to move forward.
I’m not saying you have to stay in a bad situation and just ‘suck it up, Buttercup.’ I’m saying first understand your current thoughts and the emotions they trigger. (If you are in a physically dangerous situation, take immediate action to get out).
Come to terms with your current situation.
From this point you are in a position of power.
Then you won’t be running away from a bad situation, from a position of weakness and lack of power.
Rather, you will be moving towards a place of improvement, towards a situation that better suits your values and objectives.
You decisions will then be made from a place of power.